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Apparently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she wasn't really ready to make it official. She's taking her distance from you. I recommend that you offer to go back to being just friends,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and see what she says. You can't make her want to be nice to you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but you can let her go if she's not. Telling her you want to make it unofficial might be a wake-up call. If she's feeling pressured and overwhelmed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], getting more space from you may be just what she needs to understand that you're important in her life. "Letting Go Takes Love" and "Getting to Yes" will help you understand how and why to back off. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again will give you guidelines for establishing balance and mutuality in your relationship.
Dear Reader:
By Tina Tessina - Dr,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Romance
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I have been dating this girl for 3 months now but we were talking and going on occasional dates for a good 5 months before we finally made it offical. Now that we are together things have changed. She ignores me when we are around friends and family. When I ask her if she wants to do something or just hang out she always finds an excuse and i end up finding out she went out with her friend at the last second. I finally tried talking to her about it and she said that she wasn't in the mood and every time I try to she just says the same thing. I really don't know what to I really do like her a lot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I hate being treated like crap.
Dear Dr,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Romance:
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A number of things can shake up a person's life, but divorce is definitely one of the biggest. Whether you initiated it or not, dealing with the aftermath takes a great deal of emotional fortitude.

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Are you looking for the answer to “help with sleep?” Look no further! In this article I am going to give you 5 proven and effective methods to treating your insomnia with ease. After you read this article on help with sleep, I can guarantee that you will tend to sleep better at night and feel much more refreshed than usual.
The 5 methods listed above are compiled through years and years of research on how to help with sleep and curing your insomnia,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so please try to apply them in your daily applications so that you can cure your insomnia easily and efficiently.
Help with sleep method #2: Clear your mind
In a lot of healing practices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are told to jot down a list of the worries you want to let go of and then burn them a symbolic way of releasing them. But maybe you don’t actually have to build a fire to get the mind-clearing benefits of releasing your worries. Try this little trick. An hour or two before sleep,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], write a list of everything you are worried about or all the things you need to do, and then just put it away – physically and emotionally. Allow it to live on the paper; it will be there when you pick it up this morning. But for the time being,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just let it go.
Author's Bio:
Help with sleep method #4: Limit your alcohol intake
Drinking alcohol may give you a misconception that it can help you fall asleep much more easily,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but this is not the case. Although alcohol is a depressant,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it can have the negative effect a few hours later because your brain is subconsciously programmed that it’s still party time. Hence, it is important that you limit your alcohol intake per day so that you can sleep soundly during the night.
Help with sleep method #3: Have a snack
When I mean having a snack,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I don’t necessarily mean stuffing yourself with food before you hit the bed. What I meant was to get a light snack before you go to bed because sometimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your stomach keeps on growling to the point whereby it’s keeping you from sleeping. Hence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], eating a light snack can satisfy your stomach forsome time while you sleep soundly.
By Ethan Chong
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Help with sleep method #5: Put a nighttime ban on those cigarettes
Do you know that smoking can disrupt sleep? This is because cigarettes contain nicotine that can disrupt one’s sleep during the night. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you are considered as an unrepentant smoker,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the idea of getting a better sleep probably isn’t going to motive you enough to give up the habit, but if you are thinking about giving it up anyway, better sleep is an added benefit to dumping the smokes.
The 5 proven and effective methods that can help with sleep are listed below:
Help with sleep method #1: Exercise early and often
People who are in good shape tend to have good sleep, and working out on a regular basis can help you carry out both. But because exercise actually raises cortisol levels,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which in turn “turns on” the mechanism that keeps you awake, separate your training routine from your bedtime routine by at least three hours.
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A number of things can shake up a person's life, but divorce is definitely one of the biggest. Whether you initiated it or not, dealing with the aftermath takes a great deal of emotional fortitude.

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Having spent sixteen years in social work working with young people I have come across many psychological and sociological theories, therapies, solutions and treatments for the way in which people behave or for personal problem solving. Some of them work for a while after which either people slip back into the same routine, or natural maturational processes take place which means they simply grow out of the undesirable behaviour. I concluded that there no immediate solutions or answers to most problems, in which case the question is how can I manage the situation while maturational and healing processes takes place; I believe this was and still is the answer to most situations and does the minimum amount of damage to the client.
NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence) Clinical guideline 23,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Depression. Management of depression in primary and secondary care. December 2004. Available online at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
The ultimate music to accompany a walk in the park is Beethoven’s Symphony No 6 in F ‘Pastoral’. As the name suggests it is predominately-green music for the countryside and the keynote F is the same frequency as the colour green. The symphony contains the popular Shepherd’s Hymn but the first movement contains a variety of keynotes to fit in with the title. Awakening of pleasant feelings upon arriving in the countryside and includes the following keys.
The problem with any therapy or exercise regime is that people start with good intentions and simply give up because they lack the motivation. Unless people can afford a life coach to help them stay motivated, it often leads to reinforcement or worsening of the very problem or behaviour they are trying to change, diets being a classic example. As with most people after a while I also give up, however, I have found the answer is to build exercise into an active lifestyle.
To start with, you may need the energy and motivation to get out of the house as depression or stress can be quite debilitating, but any form of exercise will boost the metabolism. I find red energy useful to fire myself up before I go canoe surfing in the middle of winter; to start with, I play some rock music, which is generally in the keynote of C with a heavy bass sound that will cause metal furniture to vibrate. I also use red solarised water, which is water in a red coloured bottle that has been in the sun all day. The vibrations from the colour will permeate the water so it will vibrate at the same frequency; I drink this just before I go into the sea to boost my circulation which is a sensation that I can actually feel happening, it provides a bit of Dutch courage before I hit the surf.
Apart from the benefits of exercise walking obviously increases the circulation, the resulting increase in the blood flow through the brain can help with the mental processes and problem solving issues. Wearing a yellow shirt can help with the this process and bring creative solutions to the situation that you are trying to resolve. The use of the colour indigo can help you get in touch with your intuition and see past the presenting problems to gain a greater insight to the resolution of the pressures in your life. I wear a yellow shirt and an indigo tracksuit for this purpose and tend to stick to paths or roads for a constant walking speed without any other distraction while I think things over.
Like most people, I find exercise for the sake of it boring and an effort, however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I do it because I enjoy walking over mountains and canoe surfing both of which demand a high degree of fitness before you start. Therefore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I suggest the answer to this problem is finding some kind of lifestyle pastime or activity that indirectly motivates you to stay fit. In that respect why pay to go to a gym or buy an exercise machine when you have a road outside your front door. For upper body exercise use a pair of walking sticks, the cheaper and heavier the better,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they not only take the strain off your knees but also tone the stomach and help you walk faster especially uphill.
Chiazzari Suzy. The Complete Book of Colour. Element Books Limited,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Shaftsbury. 1998,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Patient UK. Depression. Available online at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
To maintain our well-being we must maintain a sense of balance as too much of any one colour can have a detrimental effect. I have previously mention red with regard to energy and motivation, it is also a colour that will create a balance with both blue and green. Blue is an electric or cool colour that relates to the mind, it is introverted and can have a depressive effect on our emotions hence the expression of having the blues. Red is warm earth colour that is outgoing, and friendly. It balances the depressive tendencies of blue to bring us out of ourselves and keep us grounded and in touch with reality when we find things hard to believe or fear we are losing it. Red is the complementary colour to green so will balance and therefore reinforce the benefit we get from being in green open spaces; I sometimes wear a red anorak for this purpose.
Green is the colour associated with the ecology or environment; with regard to colour therapy it is particularly beneficial for the parasympathetic nervous system and good for the heart both physically and emotionally. It can lower blood pressure and help us deal with heartache as it provides a physical comfort and feeling of safety, this is why first aid kits are now green instead of red. Getting out into open green landscape will help satisfy your need for feeling of personal space and create a distance between you and the pressures you are under. It will help you take a step back and see all sides to the issues that you are facing. It will help bring harmony to difficult relationships allowing people to listen to the viewpoint of others and find a solution by mutual agreement. However, green is also about ‘me’ and the need to improve oneself with regard to physical and psychological well-being, a better job, living conditions etc. Therefore, green is a good colour to use in association with self-help therapies.
The place to be for a blue green mixture or turquoise is by the sea, it is the master healer combining the properties of both colours. It will spark youthful imaginative ideas to most situations, and will help you deal with difficult and demanding events so you can excuse the pun, take things in your stride.
* B = Violet – for spiritual inspiration.
* D = Orange - to remove mental blockages.
* G = Blue - mentally calming and healing.
* E = Yellow - for grounding and helps you think things over.
* A = Indigo - helps you use your own intuition.
* F = Green - for personal space, calm and balance during a crises.
Szabo, A; Billett, E; Turner, J British Journal of Sports Medicine. 35(5):342-343, October 2001.
Department of Health. At least five a week: Evidence on the impact of physical activity and its relationship to health. A report from the Chief Medical Officer. April 2004,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Available online at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Nature provides us with different colours throughout the seasons, although green grass is constant throughout the year. Autumn is a time of the year whereby deciduous trees shed their leaves to prepare for winter and perennial plants die off ready to grow again next spring. Look for the orange colour amongst the leaves and plants as orange is a purgative that will help you clear blockages both physical and mental. So use it get rid of all the unwanted baggage inside you head that is holding you back, then you will be ready for the light green shoots of spring bringing new opportunities into your life. Nothing gives me a greater lift than seeing the first wild daffodils in spring the yellow of the flowers a big psychological boost after the gloomy days of winter.
Bibliography
For those who like popular music Simon & Garfunkel or any folk music with an acoustic guitar is predominately F for green; most love songs are also in this keynote. One way of finding out is to hold a piece of glossy paper from a magazine in front of a speaker, if it vibrates then it is approximately in the keynote of F. Using the above as a guide, select the music you need for your ipod to help you solve your situation before you go walking.
As a colour counsellor and lifelong outdoor pursuit’s enthusiast, I read with interest the recent news that doctors were prescribing a walk in the park for depression. The idea that outdoor exercise is good for depression has been around for a long time but has only recently been confirmed by research. This prescription has become known as ‘ecotherapy’ and looks set to be the next growth industry; it is a combination of ecopsychology, which is about the influence of nature upon humans combined with psychotherapy. However, this is only one explanation as to why this prescription is so good for our psychological well-being, colour or light therapy is another.
The most important thing about a walk in the park is simply being there under natural sunlight, which we need to maintain our circadian rhythm or what is commonly known as our body clock. This regulates our melatonin and serotonin levels, which in turn helps with our sleep cycles so we only feeling sleepy at night and not during the day. This is particularly import during the winter months for people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. Although you can get UV conducting glass, generally window glass blocks UV light so even if you work near a window,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you also need sunlight to regulate your body clock. For the same reasons, do not wear sunglasses, glasses or contact lenses as they have the same effect,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you must shade your eyes, use charcoal grey non-polarized lenses to let in some UV light, and always protect yourself from sunburn.
What I like about colour therapy is that all I have to do is wear it, eat it, or just look at it to maintain a sense of balance and well-being. In that respect I will explain why a walk in the park and the colours of nature are beneficial to our well-being,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and include some advice on the colours to wear, and some music for your ipod. Colour vibrates at the same frequencies as musical keynotes so you can also listen to the music for a similar effect as actually seeing the colour.
Author's Bio:
By Trevor Mayes
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Verner-Bonds Lilian. The Complete Book of Colour Healing. Godsfield Press. London. 2000.
Belling Brian J et al. Light Years Ahead. Celestial Arts. Berkely. 1996.
You can look for other popular classics in the keynote of F for green. If you want some blue music, try Elgar’s Nimrod or Mozart’s EineKliene Nacht Music, which is in the key of G. The useful thing about classical music is that you can see what keynote is from the cover.
Many people listen to an ipod while out walking and as I previously mentioned the frequency of colours correspond to musical keynotes. This can boost the therapeutic effect of the colours we need and the lyrics can provide us with a motivational affirmation. The problem is that we need a spectrum analyser to know what the keynotes are in the music or songs, so here are some examples to use as a general guide.
Luscher Max. The Luscher Colour Test. Pocket Book Edition. New York. 1971.
Blue is the most popular colour among adults and a blue sky is psychologically calming, nurturing and healing. Blue creates a feeling of deep inner peace, and brings out the nurturing mother or benevolent father aspects of our personality; it can also help in situations where diplomacy or negotiation skills are required especially when dealing with authority. Blue is the colour of healing that helps with grief and leaving the past behind; like dealing with a sense of loss it helps with addictions that are either psychological or the usual tobacco, alcohol or drugs etc. If the sky is overcast then the lack of blue can be compensated for by wearing blue jeans or some other blue clothing, it will have the effect of boosting your need for blue within the sunlight colour spectrum. You can also wear something yellow which combined with blue makes up white light and can give you a bit of a psychological boost to deal with SAD during the dark days of winter.
Articles in Journals
The Mental Health Foundation. Exercise and depression: some basic facts. Available online at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
The Mental Health Foundation. Up and running,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Exercise therapy and the treatment of mild or moderate depression in primary care. March 2005. Available online at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
This article was originally published on PH Online Dec 2008 Issue 153 -
Articles Online
Olszewski,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], David, E.E., I.E. Light and Health. Available online at
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A number of things can shake up a person's life, but divorce is definitely one of the biggest. Whether you initiated it or not, dealing with the aftermath takes a great deal of emotional fortitude.

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ENGLISH DOWRY
We are one of the rare English families to get a daughter-in-law with a dowry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Love is the strongest and most fulfilling emotion possible
IT WAS WORTH IT,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
I have a lot of respect for my mum and the good example she has set us. By the way, my dad died when my mum was in her 30s – but that is another story. So my step dad is her second husband. I have a lot of respect for him that he would go through this in support of his wife. Looking back I think what my mum did was worth it and I would advise anyone in this situation – it is worth going through.
WE ARE NOT AMUSED
Brother number 1 wanted to marry a Gujarati girl but her family were not amused,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
FACT IS STRANGER THAN FICTION
Some of the conditions Westerners may not understand, accept or believe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and I have to say it caused concern to my brother such as that Nayna had to prostrate herself before every member of her family and seek forgiveness. I am impressed with Nayna too.
The interrogation was in two parts – one was the men of the family and the bathroom incident were the women of the family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
PARENTAL POWER
Parents are important - and I think all the parents here behaved in an exemplary manner.
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CONVINCING DOUBTS
They had a full Indian-style wedding along with the dowry.
A touching true story of love
UNCOMFORTABLE DISCOMFORT
After hours of interrogation from many family members – they agreed subject to some conditions.
1. My parents for doing something that was so not their culture,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and to be honest quite offensive in principle to us. Some parents would never do that. The moral of the story: If you love find a way to support your child.
I would like to share a true story about my mother.
THE OTHER SIDE
Years later when speaking to Nayna's father - he told me their side. This meeting was to explain to my parents why the two could not get married or should not get married. He said they had to deal with so many objections from his family. However, after meeting my mum and the determination of all concerned they relented subject to conditions.
Morals of this true story: Seek to understand what you don't understand; work sometimes with what you don't understand but seek to understand or appreciate it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; and show support for your family even if you don't agree with what they are doing. Be flexible enough to accept conditions when there is a greater issue at stake than some of the conditions.
DANGEROUS DATE
However, Gujarati girl wanted to marry him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so her family summ/ned my Mum and (Step) Dad for an interview/interrogation.
NO PEACE
At one point she wanted to go to the bathroom and she was not given any peace going there or coming out – when she came out she told me she was surrounded by people barraging her with questions.
LASTING IMPRESSIONS
I am always impressed with my mother for doing this - it is not easy to face a battery of people who really don’t want their relative to marry your son but she managed to convince them.
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Nayna's parents for at least having enough respect for their daughter that they would at least meet my parents. Some parents would never do that. The moral of the story: If you love find a way to support your child,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
THE RESPECTFUL WAY IS THE BEST WAY
I am glad they did the marriage the proper way - seeking and getting parental approval (subject to conditions),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Susan McKenzie
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Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
By Peter Langford
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Breaking Addiction to Porn may be difficult,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Many have tried and failed without earning any ground to their situation at all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Nevertheless it is not impossible either as with the true information and assistance you’ll be able to get from end to end to the other side successfully and run on with your life – one that’s been set on hold for so long because of the dependence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Want to know how to break porn dependence? Read further below and launch your path to full recovery now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
Acceptance
Appreciation
With approval and appreciation you’ll obtain access to one very valuable weapon in leaving your dependence to porn – resolve. The resolve to do something on your goal will be a very powerful tool that you will need more than once on your way to success. Take action on what you have designed. Throw away the publications and DVD collections that you own that can tempt you into coming back. Wipe your PC of any bookmarks, video clips, or pictures and put in a porn blocker. Move your Computer to a highly visible section to make it unattainable for you to open such sites.
Perform
There are so many more habits that might be given on how to break porn addiction but you will be the one to make your mind up when you’ll be starting. If you’re dead set on ditching this very damaging dependency behind nevertheless those mentioned above will show to be good starting items. If you’d prefer to understand more on how to do it step-by-step,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the link below can present you with all the necessary ideas you’ll need.
This means understanding what it will in reality require to overcome the crisis. The roadblocks you’ll come across,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the physical and psychological implications of trying to leave what you’ve gotten so used to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the long-term consequences of getting hooked on porn – all of these you will must realize so as to strengthen your resolve. The prime error you can make is to choose on quitting but lack the comprehension as to why you should do it. This will simply drag you back further than ever before and will set you on a downward cycle of attempts and failures until you finally choose to just stop trying wholly. Understand your circumstance from the inside out and observe how enormous of a change it can make in your tries.
Acquire a pastime
There’s a lot further helpful and constructive things that you can carry out with your schedule,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], all you need to do is select one out. Discover model kit creation, read a book, select up painting, consume more time with your family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], establish a collection – anything! Provided you utilize that extra time that you used to have for porn viewing for something more valuable. Uncover something to use your time and thoughts and resisting your baser urges will be so much easier.
What’s the aim of even trying to split the cycle when you yourself are unable to accept that you have a crisis in hand? Acknowledging the dilemma will permanently be the first step towards recovery and unless you are able to recognize it wholeheartedly chances are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you’re not likely to get very far.
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Let’s look at some facts about ADD and ADHD: people have long observed a cluster of symptoms that occur in a person of average or above average intelligence who seems unable to function in a competent, masterful way.

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By Jelaila Starr
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trusting that my Soul and Inner Child knew that having it was in my best interest,
accepting that it has a value and that value is protection,
allowing it to be there and not trying to get rid of it because it was of great value,
and showing my body kindness by buying it nice, expensive clothes 3 sizes bigger than before with the intent that I would be this size for as long as need be.
Allowing and kindness were the hardest because they went against everything I had been taught about being fat. So learning to love my fat was a harder job than I imagined and it took me a couple of years to achieve, but I finally got there using the multidimensional principles. Finally I relaxed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ate sensibly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dressed better and quit obsessing over my weight. A miracle indeed! And the weight remained.
I’ll continue to exercise and try to eat right but I realize my weight loss or gain will not be affected much by either. There’s more to this story, more little details that make it all make even more sense but this article is already long enough so I’ll save those for an audio tape.
In Service,
Jelaila Starr
The Nibiruan Council
Once I got clear on where I was still caretaking and then took the step to set limits, I went on to the final step of making agreements. Agreements, as I have learned are how we tell others what our needs and limits are so that they don’t become hidden expectations. I’ve made them with my Ego/Inner Child,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my husband, my daughter, my friends,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my clients and business associates. Having the agreements enabled me to honor my energetic limits and gain the support of others in doing so. As I continued to do this I noticed that my body began to respond and drop the additional pounds of fat. To date I am down to a size 8 from a size 12. I haven’t exercised in a month due to a broken exercise bike waiting to be repaired, and have been eating junk food most every night without gaining an ounce. So I guess the guides were right, it isn’t about what you eat, it’s about your emotions and how you energetically handle those emotions.
I had written an article, “Facing the Fear of Success,” about the fear of success and using the Energy Account method that my guides had taught me but, I didn’t realize it could also be applied to losing weight. In that article I discussed energy expenditure as it applied to the Ego/Inner Child. The Ego/Inner Child needs a certain amount of energy each day to keep the body alive and functioning properly. When we expend too much energy on a daily basis we deplete those levels beyond the critical point. When that happens the Ego/IC goes into what I call maternity mode. In maternity mode the IC treats this excessive expenditure of energy as it would a pregnancy. When women get pregnant they begin to gain weight as a protection against starvation. The Ego/Inner Child feels it is being starved because too much of his/her energy is being given away to others. Usually we do this because we fear that if we don’t give away this energy by “being for them” in some way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we will not be loved and accepted by those to whom we are giving it. When we give this level of energy we are usually co-dependent and are in some way emotionally and/or physically rescuing (caretaking) someone. The Ego/Inner Child sees each of these individuals as babies that we are feeding. In other words, the more people you caretake the more babies you have in the eyes of your Ego/Inner Child. In this caretaking consciousness or mentality the IC will take about 90% of every morsel you put in your mouth and store it as fat. When you go beyond your energetic limits, the Ego/IC will pull from these storage areas to give you the energy you want to use for others so that you can survive and so that you will still love him/her. By the way, this goes for men as well as women. The Ego/IC sees no difference between male and female and feeding babies or expending energy. This also ties into over-working or failure to delegate.
I had to take a good hard look at myself to see where I was still caretaking. Now those of you who have read my books know that I consider myself the queen of caretakers. No one can rescue others better than me! *chuckle* I quickly came up with a list of people I was still caretaking in one way or another along with several areas of my work where I desperately needed to delegate tasks and responsibilities to others. Before I go any further let me explain what I mean by caretaking. Caretaking in this context means doing for others something that they can and should do for themselves. Another word for it is enabling. Boy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], learning how to not take another’s power by rescuing them is a hard lesson for me. I was a mother from the age of 6 having to take care of my younger brothers. I learned early that my parents’ acceptance of me hinged on my ability to keep my younger brothers clean, safe and out of their hair. The better I did this the more they approved of me. So love and acceptance were tied to motherhood for me.
For most of my life I was one of those fortunate people who didn’t have to be concerned with my weight. I could eat a pint of ice cream for breakfast and not gain an ounce. This changed once I embarked on the Spiritual Path in 1994. At first it was just a 3-5 pound fluctuation but then it increased once I got serious about spiritual growth and in 1996 began conscious emotional clearing in order to ascend. A couple of years later I met and married my lifemate Jonathan. From that point on the weight increased until I had gained nearly 30 pounds. For me this was tragic as it triggered all my childhood fears of being scorned and ridiculed as my mother had been. I tried dieting using a high protein/low carbohydrate diet, the water diet where you drink half your weight in ounces of water each day and a few others. Each time I lost a few pounds but quickly regained them once I got off the diet.
The final piece of the weight loss puzzle fell into place several months ago after my hysterectomy and subsequent introduction into Natural Hormone Replacement Therapy. Though getting on natural hormones released me from the debilitating effects of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which I had had for several years as a result of moving through emotional clearing too quickly, it was not the final answer to losing weight. Once again, the final piece involved the Ego/Inner Child. This time it was about energy reserves and for the first time this piece did not come from my guides. I discovered it as part of the natural process of learning to think multidimensionally.
Additional Reading:
The Value of Being Overweight:
Facing the Fear of Success:
Are the Inner Child and the Ego the Same?
Give your Inner Child a Say:
Make your Inner Child your Partner:
I hope this article provides some measure of insight, inspiration and relief to all those who are currently overweight. Loving your Ego/Inner Child…really loving him or her will bring you greater rewards than all the diets,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], diet pills and hours spent in the gym than you can imagine. For me, discovering this multidimensional knowledge about the Ego/Inner Child was not just a solution to my weight problem, it was another avenue to feeling self–love and therefore, ascension, and isn’t that what we all want?
I tried exercising but within a couple of days would pull a muscle. I tried yoga doing 90 minutes of Bikram’s yoga in a 105 degree room for 90 minutes 4 times a week. The first time I walked into the studio and felt the intense heat I thought, “Oh my god, I must be insane! The weight isn’t worth this kind of abuse.” Yet I persevered and it helped more than anything and really toned my muscles, but I found I just couldn’t keep it up 4 times a week. I wasn’t emotionally ready for it. Each thing I tried helped a little but once I stopped it the weight returned.
Losing weight is a funny thing and a great mystery to so many of us. What makes us lose weight? What makes us gain weight? It seems that there are as many answers and there are people. Throughout this article I wish to share with you a perspective that has allowed me to lose weight and a bit of the journey that led me to it. It’s multidimensional so be prepared to have a few beliefs shattered as that seems to be the case when we step outside the “box” and look at things from a higher perspective or “bigger picture.” But,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as always, use discernment and if anything I write doesn’t resonate for you please feel free to toss it.
During this time we went through a major shift in our lives moving from Los Angeles back to Kansas City in early 2001. Soon after, I was given another clue in solving the mystery of weight loss. I had known for some time that the Ego/Inner Child played a role in my weight gain but I did not know exactly how. My guides had taught me the multidimensional perspective on the Ego/Inner Child and explained that the Ego was the same as the Inner Child, and that once we realized this, we would experience self-love since self-love is the experience of caring for the Ego/Inner Child. And yes, I wrote an article about that too. It’s titled, “Are the Inner Child and the Ego the Same?” Yep, they give ‘em to me and I write ‘em up. That’s my job.
Learning to undo this belief had been a long and difficult journey. I had to sit down and use another method my guides taught me. I call it “The Rights/Needs/Limits Method.” In order to stop caretaking/enabling I had to get clear about what my rights as a human,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a mother and a woman were, what my needs were based on those rights and what my limits were based on those needs. I got out 3 sheets of paper and drew a line down the middle of each. On the left side of the first sheet I wrote, “What are my rights?” On the other side I wrote, “What rights are not being honored?” On the second sheet I wrote, “What are my needs and what needs are not being met?” On the third sheet I wrote, “What are my limits and what limits are not being kept?” This was a real eye-opener but more importantly, it enabled me to identify where I still gave away my energy to others in order to be loved and accepted. Without this step I could not begin to really take care of my Ego/Inner Child because I didn’t know where or how I was leaking energy so to speak. Doing this exercise helped me pinpoint where and how. What a nifty gift from the guides! It almost made up for that Love answer. *grin*
During another request for guidance they told me in answer to my question about how to lose weight that I had to love this fat and once I did the weight would come off. To this I replied, “Are you insane? Have you lost your minds or do you even have one to lose? That has to be the most ridiculous thing you could have ever said! How can you expect anyone to love being fat?” Yes, I was a bit upset. But once again, using the multidimensional principles they had taught me I set about learning to love my 30 lbs. of fat. “Oh how exciting!”, I thought to myself. “They might as well have said, ‘learn to love shoveling dog s—t.’” This one was so hard for me that I gave up several times before finally getting it. They had taught me that love, real love--not the co-dependent version,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is a feeling that we express through our behavior. It is comprised of 4 components, Trust, Kindness, Allowing and Acceptance. So, if I loved my fat, I would express this feeling by:
Author's Bio:
They also explained that the Ego/Inner Child (or Ego/IC for short) sees him/herself as our physical body. This was a big one! That meant that every time I looked in the mirror at my plump little body and felt disgust, my Ego/IC experienced that feeling as me being disgusted with her. They also taught me that the Ego/Inner Child’s sole purpose is survival in the moment at all costs. That meant that each time I felt disgusted about my weight, my little Ego/IC would take action and do something that would make me feel better in that moment so that I would love her again. That translated as eating potato chips or some other form of comfort food. So the more I felt disgusted the more I was impulsed by my Ego/IC to eat to find comfort. What a vicious cycle! Because the Ego/Inner Child lives in the moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the impulse to eat comes right on the heels of my thoughts of disgust!
I consulted my guides several times over the years about this issue and each time they would say that weight has nothing to do with what I ate and everything to do with my emotions. “Okay,” I asked myself, “What does that mean?” They have a penchant for giving me a higher dimensional answer and then watching as I work to figure it out. Sometimes I think they enjoy it too much. Anyway, using the multidimensional principles they had taught me I theorized that it meant that I must find value in the additional fat since one of their primary principles was that “everything has a value.” So, the fat was there to protect me in some way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and therefore, protection was its value. I wrote an article titled, “The Value of Being Overweight” based on this finding. That helped but it didn’t completely solve my current weight problem so I continued my search to find a way to lose it now.
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Consider this. When you meet someone, 37% of the image you project is the sound of your speaking voice. A wimpy or weak voice does not make a good impression. Over the phone where there is no visual,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], however, those percentages rise dramatically.
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Presently you are using your throat and voice box as your primary resonators. When you make the switch, however, and allow your chest cavity to do more of the work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will notice an amazing difference in how others perceive you. You will definitely sound more confident; you will probably look more confident; and,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will most assuredly feel more confident.
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How many times have you made a mental judgment of someone over the phone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], later met that individual and were surprised by what you saw? If your voice leans toward a wimpy or weak sound, then the same thing may be happening to your listeners.
As demoralizing as all of this may sound,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the good news is that you have a better voice inside – a much better voice. Powered by your chest cavity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is deeper in pitch, resonant, and strong. Not too loud and not soft,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but of a normal volume. In addition, the voice that originates in your chest has the ability to be projected which means you will be able to increase your volume without shouting.
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Choosing to forgive is choosing health and not being a victim. Getting the right perspective on what is happening which is the forth step in the forgiveness process was crucial for Joey since he was beating himself up to the point of hurting himself. He now recognized that his primary distress was coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset he was suffering now, not what offended him two minutes or even ten years ago. Uncomplicated grief is easy to handle,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], i.e. you missed your movie or the grocer was out of your favorite food. Complicated grief is when you credit your bitter bank and become a millionaire in bitterness. He was harboring resentment toward Judy and blaming himself for the failed marriage. The gap between what he wanted and what he got was the status to his health. Since life says “no” in so many ways, Joey had to recognize that this it is part of the natural suffering we encounter every day. As Richard Carlson wrote “don’t sweat the small stuff.” How serious we take ourselves manifests in how we balance our mind and body. We need to make peace with the “no.” Joey was now able to go over his marriage and realize that it takes two to create problems in a relationship. The more he kept this perspective the more he was able to see how he and Judy were so very different and had not addressed the consequences of their different temperaments.
By Ken Silvestri, Fred Luskin, Jed Rosen
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Joey began to see that his feelings are real, but he was losing perspective. His family of origin was discussed in regard to his upbringing. “I spent so much time alone as a kid, both of my parents worked long hours and I was a ‘latch key’ child.”His grievance now evolved to match his present feeling of loneliness, sadness and disappointment regarding Judy’s decision to move on; normal yet still painful. This brought Joey to understand that Forgiveness is for him and inevitably with others. This helped him better understand his newly articulated feelings and accept the second stage of forgiveness which is to to make a commitment to achieve peace.
Joey now was putting his energy in a positive place (step 7). He developed a strong sense of self compassion. It is what he learned from his personal suffering. He now was truly embracing his positive intention to have a loving relationship. He realized that he could not write off Judy because she hurt him. It just did not work out and their karma was beyond their control. When Joey applied his intent in way that represented his desires he could visualize the potential of eventually having a relationship that may meet his needs. Releasing him from blaming allowed Joey to begin to evolve for the future. Joey was able to accept that he was fallible and has choices to have noble intents.
Joey was now able to experience his hurt as being in the present. Prior to this he was dwelling and stuck in “what if..” thinking. Forgiveness is not about minimizing his hurt it is about changing the grievance story. Forgiveness does not even necessarily mean reconciling with the person who upset you or condoning their action. It is to set a goal to let yourself go to a spiritual side that does not blame or hinder your well being. It is in a sense a way for Joey to stop reliving the grievance and dwelling on the negative. Joey articulated a goal to fix up his apartment and to resolve his loneliness by creating an environment and life style that would fulfill his wishes and desires. This was Joey’s third stage in the process of moving toward peace. However like all change,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one has to support the new awareness otherwise old habits will sabotage the process.
About a year prior to Joey moving out of their house and into an apartment, Judy expressed a need to fulfill herself and eventually move forward as an independent person. Although, it was not surprising to Joey, he felt that there may still be a chance to reconcile and renew the spark they had when they met. Susan was very mature for her age, and although saddened by the news, she seemed to understand and was glad for the civility and friendship thay Joey and Judy demonstrated toward each other. When Joey was asked what it was that he was not getting at this moment he expressed a sincere desire to have his family intact. His parents had divorced and he was thirteen and could still feel the pain and confusion dealing with two very angry parents. He said that he intellectually understood that it was time to end his marriage, but his body was not agreeing with this. Joey was not sleeping and was feeling anxious, guilty, and confused about his own potential for the future. This was initially addressed in his therapy, as normal stages of grief, however Joey needed to address the process of forgiving since this could be the context for the resolution of his confusion and eventually bring him peace.
Life does say no! Even the Buddha explains that life is filled with suffering; however within our experiences of pain there is the simultaneous beauty of nature. As much as our life can say no, we still have the choice to have our glass half full. This paradox of ”damn if we do and damn if we don’t” actually provides us with grist for happiness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially if we widen our perspective and recognize the beauty of life’s potential or we can fall prey to the alternative of locking ourselves into a world of ongoing hurt. Within this framework, people get into relationships, not all of which are sustained and continue. Nearly 65% of first marriages in the USA end in divorce and approximately 50% of school age children live in a family going through a transition. This alone can be traumatic but if it isn’t dealt with in a civil manner, it could have severe consequences for adults and children alike.
Joey, in his early forties, came in for therapy after his recent separation from his wife Judy of eighteen years. They have one child, Susan who is sixteen. Joey said that his marriage to Judy was one of being better friends than lovers. “It was easy working with her regarding the house and parenting, there just isn’t any passion or romance.” They had tried couple counseling several times but it would end with Susan continuing in individual therapy. Joey felt disappointed and frustrated, but always thought that things would eventually work out. Joey would vividly recall the passion and connection that occurred when they first met,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “we were best friends and lovers, and everything seemed wonderful.” “Things just went sour after Susan was born, not the joy of having and raising her,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the romance and closeness we once had.”
The next thing (step 5) for Joey was to further support his recognition to what was wrong and how it manifested into his present pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This was to encourage him to have positive emotions. At the moment he began to take a step backward he was instructed to practice the Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique (PERT) to soothe his body’s flight or fight response. Joey made a commitment to choose a life view that he desired to live within,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. PERT is a simple exercise of taking soft deep belly breathes and thinking of what it is that one is grateful of. Joey felt grateful for his wonderful relationship with his daughter and the fun they had sharing their photos. He took to the exercise quickly since it relieved his physical anxiety and eventually the emotional pain that accompanied it.
Moving on and Forgiving (Ken Silvestri,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Fred Luskin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and Jed Rosen; (September2009)
Joey was able to move forward into the sixth step of forgiving after mastering the relaxation exercises and understanding how he can avoid the “fight or flight mode” that was taking its toll on him. Giving up expecting things from those who will not give them to you was not easy for him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], since he was for many years demanding that Judy match his desires and wishes of a happy loving relationship. There are certain unenforceable rules that strengthen the grievance story. If we cling to a grievance we will live the grievance. We cannot demand a return to desire. By letting go and softening himself Joey became more vulnerable but more human. Learning to forgive is accepting that smart people can do stupid things and good people have good intentions. John Welshons writes in his recent book When Prayers Aren’t Answered, (Novato, California: New World Library: 2007, p.151) that “.the acceptance of things as they are in this context does not imply complacency…the acceptance of things as they are is merely intended to alleviate suffering we habitually create in our minds with the desire to change things we simply cannot change.”
In his book, “Forgive For Good,” Fred Luskin identified nine steps for attaining forgiveness and piece. This model of forgiveness has been successfully researched and demonstrated statistically significant improvement in physical and emotional well being in people who were taught how to forgive. The research also made clear that forgiveness is a skill that can be taught to people suffering from all kinds of wounds and grievances. People who worked with this process became more confident, less depressed, less anxious,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and more compassionate, reported increased self esteem and saw reduced blood pressure, body aches and muscle tension, and improved physical vitality.
Joey was losing perspective, he had to dig further to find his grievance story of what it was that he was not getting. He was putting himself down, felt a failure and was dwelling on “How could this have happened.” Joey narrated a deep sense of lose, “I feel that all the rituals and sense of family are gone.” He stated that, “I wanted to get Judy to try to save our relationship.” The first step in the forgiveness process is to Know what you feel so you can allow empathy to produce a “non-denial” of feelings. Joey’s symptoms were from a lack of perspective. He needed to widen his lens to view what is the “wrong” that hurts him. His good side,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], persona, which was his strong sense of responsibility and kindness, was being constantly overtaken by his shadow side of anger at himself and judy for not having a successful marriage. Joey who was very visual and did photography as a hobby was asked to to view his presenting problem of grief and guilt as if looking through a narrow lens. Here he reiterated his presenting pain of lose. He then was asked to widen the lens, seeing the ends of the room and even further the problems of the world. When it was suggested that he quickly return to his presenting problem, he remarked, “I guess ten years from now this problem may not be so significant.”
Author's Bio:
Joey eventually accepted that the whole process came down to remembering that a life well lived was his eventual goal (step Cool

. Instead of focusing on his wounded feelings, and thereby giving Judy unnecessary power, he now learned to look for the love, beauty, and kindness around him. He was able to say with conviction that “It is my choice not to define myself by anyone who may have hurt me.” Lastly Joey amended his original grievance story to remind himself of his heroic choice to forgive and move on.
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Tip #1 Love yourself
Do something each day to make you smile: Go to the park, you perform the act of giving-for. these safe stretching techniques will better your training performance and increase the effectiveness of stretching. The correct appropriate amount of force will vary from person to person. In addition to these,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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this is the sort of training you will need. and can without difficulty lead to injury.The imperative thing is to start slow don't be afraid to be an amateur You're not going to be a kickboxing champion in one day and must learn the moves slowly along with the correct techniques
If for instance you're interested in kickboxing for cardio fitness there are several classes and gyms in London that specialize in cardio kickboxing classes.
What To Do Today
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I shouldn’t even have to talk about this but I will. We have all heard the smokers say that smoking helps calm me.
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Simply snip off the top part of the sprout with your finger and thumb and collect in a basket; add these snips to your green salad for a delightful crunch and sweetness. as they create your feet look larger. though.
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• Eye Gaze
Looking.
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Could your life become easier?
find your library card or get yourself to your favorite book seller and get at it!
Freshen up your goals and objectives.
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“Is this going to be a win/win?
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You have another reason for wanting to do this. Talk to your health care provider about the type of help that may be best for you. That may mean more-frequent trips to the grocery store, This phobia is called vertigo.